Ecstasy of Fear
“Ecstasy of Fear” explores the vicious cycle of narcissism and self-hatred through the exhaustive documentation of myself as maker and also the medium. I take upon the role of both subject and object in reflection to my ongoing experience of mental illness and self-deprecation. The work questions one’s perception of who they are truly seeing in the frame, fusing my persona as raw but simultaneously vigorous in manipulation. I exhaust myself in the work to the point of obsession, imposing a permanent questioning state of selfhood and place in the world.